It’s not a confidence issue, it’s a thinking issue
The entrepreneur reaches out to the coach for the first time, hoping he can help him.
"What's going on?" the coach asks.
"I feel stuck," the entrepreneur replies.
"How so?"
"Over the past few months, I've been getting too many no's from potential clients, and it makes me feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I'm starting to doubt myself and my abilities. Things were going great a year ago, but lately, things got really difficult. I don't know what I should do at this point."
Now, if you were the entrepreneur, how would you want to be helped?
Possibly, you would want your coach to help you by:
Improving your selling skills.
Looking into your business model and strengthening your proposition and systems.
Making you feel more confident.
Would that help? Well, it might. But that implies something is broken and needs fixing.
So, what’s going on on a deeper level?
What if I told you this is probably not a selling issue? And it's not a business model issue? Nor a confidence issue?
It's a thinking issue.
If he changes the way he THINKS about a no coming from potential customers, he would FEEL differently about these no's.
You see, the entrepreneur puts a lot of weight on the no's he gets. He not receiving yesses equals him not doing things right as an entrepreneur. This means he attaches his self-worth to the results he gets. Making changes on this level will have a powerful effect on his mind- and emotional state.
If the coach told him that he actually needs no's in order to get a yes, it would completely change the way he thinks about the decisions his warm leads make.
Author BJ Gallagher puts it beautifully: "Yes lives in the land of no."
The entrepreneur could turn 'collecting no's' into a game. If he tries to collect as many of them as he possibly can, he will also collect more yesses as a result of his efforts. And because of this mindset, he detaches himself from the outcome and will be more successful. And as a result, his confidence level rises.
Collecting no’s becomes the KPI and now it’s just part of the game.
After establishing this new way of thinking, everything else becomes easier. Imagine the entrepreneur working on his selling skills, proposition, and systems while being in this powerful and confident state!
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