The relation between Chinese food and coaching

Last weekend I had dinner with friends. We chose a place we normally wouldn't visit; the Chinese boat restaurant in Amsterdam. To us that place is “something for tourists”, but logistically it made sense. So we went for it.  

We were able to order food through an online ordering page, which was accessible by scanning the QR-code. Can we stop with the QR-codes please!!? I can understand how this technology can make lives easier. But for someone like me who loves interacting with people, it takes away part of the charm of going to a restaurant. Then again, we were on the tourist boat so I got over that fairly quick.  

When we scanned the menu we were surprised by the ‘narrow’ range of options (for a Chinese restaurant that is!). Normally there are at least 150 dishes to choose from. In this restaurant there are only like 40 in total! “Where is the rest?!”, we said to each other.  

And right away it struck me how silly that thought is! Our expectations (“we are going to flip through a 30 page menu”) determined our perception (“something is not right here”). The root of our expectations were our beliefs (“Chinese restaurants offer at least 150 dishes”). Once we were aware of our beliefs and expectations we were able to adjust our perception. And we could finally order 😊 

Now, I know that a menu of a Chinese boat restaurant and deep inner work are two completely different worlds. But creating awareness around your beliefs, expectations and perception can be applied in many different contexts. 

It is one of the ways I help my clients, by challenging their beliefs so they become fully aware of them and they can clearly see how their beliefs affect their perception, their actions, their self worth and ultimately, the results they get in their lives.  

If someone has the belief “I'm not good at presenting myself”, this person will expect to do a lousy job at it regardless. It is very likely that she/he will perceive all forms of feedback as criticism, what will intensify the initial belief. Needless to say how this affects ones self worth. Changing the belief to “I'm perfect the way I am”, or “people might get inspired by me” can be a game changer.  

You can train to take more control over your beliefs by asking yourself the right questions. When you feel stressed because of an important presentation you have to give at work it usually doesn't work that well to ask yourself “what excuse can I come up with so I can call in sick?” The stress is caused by the belief “I can't do this”. What if you change your perspective from yourself to the audience and what they may gain from your presentation? What if you'd ask yourself; “what can these people learn from me?” You will probably feel much more relaxed as the presentation just became about giving to others. 

I can't remember the question we asked ourselves on the Chinese boat, but I do remember the food was amazing! And the limited number of options on the menu actually sped up our decision making process. So we had more time to discuss our lives and share foolish jokes.  

Do you feel the desire to create a bigger impact in your world but you don't know where to start? Are you missing a clear compass or map that helps you navigate through the next steps in your career path? I coach around awareness. I will help you to become super clear on your values, qualities and what mindset you need in order to take action. Send me an e-mail via connect@dimasbodde.com or check out the Contact page on the site.